Sleep Progress Report

As I have mentioned several times before, Ian's sleeping schedule as of late has been terrible. I had no idea how lucky we were his first few months, as he usually only got up once or twice during the night. The 4 month mark hit, and he started waking up every 2 hours or so all night.

Anyway, the past 4 nights haven't been all that bad. Asleep by 8-9pm, then sleeping until 3-4 am. He wakes up really hungry at that point and I get him out of the crib and we lay on the couch for the rest of the night. If I try to put him back in the crib after feeding him, he immediately starts crying.  I honestly don't feel like fighting with him on it. As long as I get my pillows situated right I can usually go back to sleep, and he's awfully warm and cuddly. He won't be this little for long, right?

I'm still trying to wrap my head around what happened last night. We started our bed time routine at 7 as usual: Dinner of some solid food, change into pjs, read a book, in the crib. He was out by 8pm. Didn't hear a peep from him for the rest of the time we were still up (it's not unusual for us to have to go in and sing to him 3-4 more times before we go to bed around 10 or so).

He slept until 6:15 am.

That. my folks, is over 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. 10 hours.

Ssshhh, don't tell him. If he knows he did it he might never do it again.

Glory be.

Senior Supervisor of Yard Maintenance

We had a lot of leaves to rake this year. This little fellow made sure it was done right.

6 Months

Dear Ian,

Yesterday you turned 6 months old. I just can't believe it has been 6 months since you entered our lives. You were such a tiny little thing!

One day old.

Not so tiny anymore!

Look at those rolls!

This past month has been full of new tricks. You can turn from belly to back and from back to belly, but tummy time is not your favorite time of the day.

You were the cutest, most wise owl there ever was for Halloween.

You respond to your name, and you definitely know who your parents are. Your daddy can make you smile and laugh like no one else. I so love watching him be a daddy.

So much fun!

You love to play with toys, and can reach over and pick them up as well as pass them back and forth from one hand to another. All the toys immediately go to your mouth for a taste test!

And it's not just toys you want to grab - it's everything! Walking through the grocery store or Wal-Mart with you in the Bjorn carrier keeps me on my toes. You reach for anything in front of you. You found my hair, and it doesn't matter that it's in a pony tail - it's still fair game. You longingly reach for my earrings.

Your giggles are infectious, both version 1 and version 2.

We've been introducing you to more food items, and by far your favorites are bananas and prunes. The prunes were especially entertaining. The first bite you wrinkled up your face for a few seconds, followed by a look of surprise, then opened your mouth as wide as you could and stretched your arms and legs out as far as you could. Gimme more!

Green beans are all right!

You like green beans and sweet potatoes, too. You think peas and squash are yucky, both will make you gag. Tonight we'll try some carrots.

You're sleeping schedule his still pretty terrible. We try to put you down around 8 pm, sometimes you stay asleep until 3 am, but more often you fight it for several hours and still get up numerous times throughout the night. We're really struggling with this.

But we think we know why - you cut a tooth a few weeks ago! Just 19 more to go!

Naps are a little better. Most of the time they're on us, but you've actually taken a few naps in the crib!!! I love to watch you sleep.

You still LOVE your "baby Vegas." It never gets old watching you jump in that thing - especially when you give us a big ol' open mouth grin.

You had your first Thanksgiving celebration with both families, and it was so special.

But seriously, kid - this whole growing thing needs to SLOW DOWN. I'm trying to savor every minute of this experience.

Giving Thanks

This has been a busy few days. On Thursday we drove over to J's parents house for a turkey dinner. His mother makes the most amazing dressing. Ever. I want to take the whole pan and lock myself in a room and stuff myself (ha!). I have no idea how she makes it (I don't even think she has a written down recipe for it), but involves baking a hen the day before and using the drippings from that as well as the drippings from the turkey. Don't even get me started on her gravy.

Mmmm sweet potatoes . . . .

J has a niece and nephew that are around our age, and they each have toddler. One is 18 months, the other almost 3 years. Seeing those 2 run around made me realize how much Ian will have next year because he should be able to run around, too!

Friday was Thanksgiving, Round 2, at my folks place. Both my brother and sister were there with their families, as well as my grandfather. Both of my sibling's spouses are also from this area, and with all of the other Thanksgiving dinners going on on Thursday, it's impossible to get us all together at the same time. Our solution is to always have Thanksgiving (and Christmas) celebrations the day after the official holiday. It works out great - we get to indulge for 2 days!

Ian with his Meemaw

Our family for as long as I can remember, does an unconventional Thanksgiving dinner. Back in 1984 my mom won the Tennessee State Beef Cook Off with a Korean dish called bulgoki. It's a family favorite and we have it for most holidays and family get togethers.

Ian did great both days, we took along his "baby Vegas" and he entertained everyone with his jumping.

I have SO much this year to be thankful for that it's a little overwhelming.

First of all I'm thankful for my little boy, who has changed my life in a way that I just cannot put into words.

I'm thankful for J, I am so lucky to be married to my best friend. His smile still melts my heart every day. I love watching him be a father - there just aren't words for that either!

I am thankful for my family, both mine and J's. We are so lucky to have such good relationships with both.  I am thankful we live close and get to see them all as much as we do.

I am thankful for Pop, my 94 year old grandfather who drove himself to Tennessee for Thanksgiving. He is such an inspiration.

I am thankful for this little place we call home, with it's creaky wooden floors and tiny little bathroom.

I am thankful for our jobs. We are fortunate to both work very close to home, after both having to commute in the past we really appreciate it.

I am thankful for our silly old cat that tolerates our existence. We threaten to turn her into a hat daily, but truth be told we love her and even gave her a can of turkey Fancy Feast on Thanksgiving night. She ate every bit of it.

I am thankful for our friends, and still can't believe how many of them also have little ones. I think it's just super awesome that they're going to grow up together.

I could write a book of all the things I am thankful for this year.

Life is good.

Reason #214 Why My Job Is Pretty Cool

I walk into the treatment room at work Monday morning to the overwhelming smell of poo. Yay! Great way to start off the day.

'Who's got the runs?' I ask the tech while scanning the kennels for the culprit.

She points to the large kennel in the bottom corner. I can barely make out two dark ears peaking above a blanket in the back of the kennel.

'That little kitten came in Saturday - Mrs. M found her in the Wal-Mart parking lot half dead. She wanted us to keep her over the weekend and treat her - said she would keep her if she made it through the weekend.'

'How is she this morning?'

'Great - she hoovered up her food. We ran a fecal float this morning and she tested positive for coccidia.'

Coccidia is a intestinal protozoal parasite that causes a nasty, bloody diarrhea with a sickly sweet odor.

I open the kennel door and pull back the blanket in the corner - the smell amplifies times ten. She's about 8 weeks old, a little tortishell. One eye is matted shut, the other swollen and crusty. Her back end is covered in a combination of dried and wet diarrhea.

She stands up and does the cat "back arch" stretch, tail pointed straight up to the heavens. Her belly is swollen due to the parasitism and there is flea dirt all over the kennel floor.

She strides right up to me, gives a little mew, and starts purring. Really loud. Awesome.

I perform a physical exam. She's just a hair over 2 pounds. I prescribe some Drontal and Albon for her parasites. Capstar and Advantage for her fleas. We demat her eyes and apply some terramycin ointment. She only stops purring briefly when I draw some blood to test for feline leukemia and FIV test, which are both negative. Off to the back for a much needed bath.

Wal-Mart parking lot kitties are pretty awesome.

I like my job :)

Unexpected

I quit my last job. I've never quit a job in my life. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It's a long story and I'm tired of dwelling on it (essentially unbelievably poor management), but I didn't expect it to be such an emotional ordeal. When I went by the last time to get all my stuff, I cried as we pulled out of the parking lot. I should have quit a long time ago, for so many reasons.

I do still miss the staff there, they were like my second family.

Anyway.

Shortly after I quit we decided that I should try for the "relief," or fill in work. None of the clinics in our area were advertising the need for part time work. I quickly revamped by resume and passed it out to 7 clinics reasonably close to our house. I didn't expect to get any work for some time, as relief vets usually have to build a reputation.

Yeah. I had a phone call within an hour of getting home from passing out those resumes. Since then I've had steady flow of one to three days a week worth of work, and overall had responses from 6 of those 7 clinics.

And 2 of the hospitals where I did some relief work offered me a permanent part time position. Wasn't expecting that at all.

So the position that I accepted is for 2 days a week, no weekends. And the best part? It's a mile from our house. A mile. I feel kinda guilty about driving there.

Funny how thing work out. I feel so fortunate.

Teething Bling

My child likes jewelry. Specifically necklaces.

He hasn't found my earrings yet, thank goodness.

Several months ago I complimented a friend on her necklace, and she told me it was actually a nursing/teething necklace. I checked out the website out that afternoon and placed my order. So many to choose from!

It was a great $26 investment. The beads are non-toxic, have no sharp edges, and are guaranteed not to break.

Ian loves it. It keeps him occupied when we have to stand in line. He plays with it while he sits in his bouncy chair.

And since he's been teething? He doesn't chew oh it, he chomps on it. Reminds me a little of the glazed expression dogs on their face when they're chewing on a bone or toy.

Can you see the necklace in his mouth?
"Back off - I'm teething!"

Mommy Necklaces isn't paying me for this post but I'm happy to promote their product!

This would make a great shower gift.

The only bad thing is now he gazes longingly at other people's beaded necklaces.

Belly Laughs

I was soooo tired when I got home from work last night.

This is so nice to come home to. Being a parent is awesome.

He laughed and laughed for about 10 minutes. It was awesome.

Trying Not To Get Too Excited

So I'm trying not to get too excited about this. It sounds like a minor little thing, but it's epic in our book.

Ian took a nap yesterday. In his crib. For an hour.

I mentioned yesterday that we have been struggling with Ian's sleeping at night for the past month. Well, for the past forever we have also been struggling with getting him to nap. Other than his first few weeks of general newborn sleepiness, this kid fights sleep. So. Much.

He will sleep on someone just fine, it's just when you try to move him. It takes him about 2 minutes to realize he is no longer in contact with another human and the crying starts. Swings don't work. Neither do bouncy chairs. Crying it out hasn't worked either. I tried that method for 2 weeks straight and never made it much past an hour of crying. He won that battle. I gave up and just let him sleep on me. The dishes will always be there, little bitty babies sleeping on your chest won't.

At night time we have a routine going. Most nights starting at around 7:30 or so he gets some solid food, changed into pjs, read a story, sung a song, swaddled, start the lullaby CD J's sister gave us, nurse, and in the crib. Some nights it's goes without a hitch and the sandman comes, other nights he wakes up over and over for several hours before finally giving in (like last night). Anyway, we're sticking to that routine.

So yesterday we get back from running errands and I take him in to change his diaper. While on the changing table he yawns and rubs his eyes. Okay, I think, I'll put him in the crib for a few minutes and start his lullaby CD. There are a few things I want to do around the house that I can't do while holding him.

In the crib he goes. I start the CD and close the door. The crying starts right away. It goes on for about 5 minutes then stops suddenly. Oh, I think, it'll start back up in a minute. But it doesn't. I carry on with house chores for another 15 minutes. Still no crying. This is crazy, did he actually just put himself to sleep? No way.

I want to go check and see if he's actually asleep but I'm afraid if I open the door he will wake up. NEVER wake a sleeping baby, right? After about an hour, it's still quiet. I begin to formulate irrational scenarios in my head as to what is going on in the nursery. What if he's suffocating? What if he's hurt himself? What if he got his foot or arm caught between the crib slats? Oh god.

Just when I decide I can't stand it anymore I hear a whimper. The CD has gotten to the track with the heart beat sound on it, and we've noticed that at night that tract sometimes will wake him up. I open the door to the nursery and peak in. He's awake, breathing, no limbs stuck in the crib slats, and he's rolled over from his back to his tummy - first time he's done that!

I hope this nap thing continues! We're gonna try it again this afternoon!

Ouch

Ladies and gentlemen, we have teeth. More specifically, Ian got his first tooth in last Friday. Thursday J was letting Ian gnaw on his finger and thought he felt something sharp. We looked but didn't see anything. Friday morning he was chewing on my finger and I felt something sharp, looked, and sure enough the lower left central incisor is just visible.

He's not even quite 6 months old yet!


People kept asking me if he was teething. Sure he was drooling and chewing on stuff, but 4 month old babies are supposed to do that. Most babies don't get their first teeth until they are 7 months old. I kept looking at his gums, expecting to see swelling or redness or some sign of the teeth breaking through. Nope, they just appeared Friday.                                                                                                                                                                          


I'm wondering if this correlates with his sleeping habits.

For the first 4 months he was an AMAZING night sleeper, only waking up once to eat on most nights. He would even tease us about once every two weeks and sleep through the night. I was getting better quality sleep than when I was pregnant.

Then after he turned 4 months it changed. He began waking up three and four times during the night. This is how it has been since, and about every third night or so he wakes up every 60 to 90 minutes all night long. We thought it was the 4 month sleep regression, but maybe it was all just the teeth.   I'm exhausted, and I am so worried that he is not getting good quality sleep.

So nap with him, that's what every one says. Folks, I don't nap well. Never have. I can count on both hands the number of times I have napped with him since I had him. Believe me, I have tried. A lot. He doesn't help the matter because he doesn't want to nap either. He will take a nap with my mother, J's mother, and J, but rarely with me. I don't know why this is. It's sooo frustrating.

So anyway, I hope his insomnia is related to his teeth. He was such a good night sleeper before!!!

I'm also a little sad he got his first tooth, he's growing up way too fast!

My Child Weighs in on Whirled Peas

First foods. Rice cereal was a hit, as were bananas.

But the question remains, what about peas? Daddy likes them, mommy not so much.

The following picture leaves you wondering.

Peas? Hmmmm

The following video DEFINITELY answers the question. Note: at the end of the video the camera nearly gets dropped into a glass of water.

Yup, he's gonna take after his mother for the time being. He actually shudders when he tastes it.

On an interesting note, I tasted the peas myself (they were previously frozen peas that we cooked and pureed), and to be perfectly honest they weren't that bad. Kinda sweet. Nothing like canned peas.

Anyhoo, on to sweet potatoes.

Little Old Ladies and Wal-Mart

I really don't like going to Wal-Mart. I don't like shopping all that much either.  However, it's a necessary evil.

The one thing that has made it more bearable is shopping with a baby. People LOVE to see little babies. Little old ladies just ooh and aah over him, and don't have much trouble convincing me that I have the cutest baby ever (I'm not biased at all). Ian is all smiles now, and he always gives them a big gummy grin in return.

Today was no exception.

In typical Wal-Mart fashion, out of the 30 registers up front, only 3 were open. To make it even more fun, each register had at least 6 people in line, all of whom had buggies overflowing with items. Hooray.

Ian's good while shopping - all strapped into the Bjorn, facing outward - he can see all the action. As of late he has also taken to holding the shopping list for me. Today he even tried to eat the list. However, check out lines are kinda dicey - he likes to keep moving. To compensate, I stand there and bounce or sway from side to side.

Anyway, in front of me is a lady and her elderly mother. From here on out we will refer to her as LOL (little on lady). The daughter sees us and says, 'Mom, look at that cute baby.' LOL turns and when she sees Ian her whole face lights up.

LOL: Oh, he's beautiful! How old is he?

Me: Thanks - 5 months.

LOL: Is he your only one?

Me: Yes.

LOL: I had 6.

Me: Oh my.

LOL: You wonder how that could happen, but you know. I was ready to kill my husband when I found out I was pregnant the last time. And the last 2 were twins.

Me: Did you know you were going to have twins?

LOL: Hell, no. It's a good thing, too. I really would have killed my husband. I was asleep when I had them. When I woke up and the doctor told me there were two babies I threw a glass at him and called him a liar. I thought he was trying to pull one over on me. They weighed almost ten pounds each.

Me: I'll bet you didn't sleep much

LOL: Honey, I didn't sleep for a whole damn decade. . . But it was all worth it.

We continued to chat for about 30 minutes - that's really how long it took to check out. She fussed over Ian some more, and even stayed with me while all my items got rung up. She seemed sad to leave him. I think it made her day. I hope she knows she kinda made mine!

You Fed Your Dog What?

A couple of weeks ago I walked into an exam room to be faced with a morbidly obese Australian Shepherd. The dog was suffering from a bout of diarrhea and vomiting. She was shockingly fat - a walking ottoman with legs.

I had to consciously keep my mouth from gaping open, as well as hold my tongue to keep from blurting out, "What the hell are you feeding that dog?". The owner, however, could see it written all over my face and squirmed uncomfortably in her chair.

I quickly put a big smile on my face and introduced myself as a fill in vet for Dr. X. The usual questions were asked about the duration of the vomiting and diarrhea, how often it occurred, what it looked like, etc..

Here comes the tricky part.

Me: So how is her appetite? Does she want to eat anything at all?

Client (stares at the floor): It's fine.

Me: What do you normally feed her at home?

Client (still staring at the floor): I've already discussed this with Dr. X.

Me: Oh, it's okay, we just need to make note of it in her chart. What type of food are you feeding her and how much?

Client: Well, every morning she gets a chicken biscuit from ChikFilA.

Me: . . . . .

Client: She also eats cat food.

Me (sincerely curious): Really? A chicken biscuit every day?

Client: Every day except Sunday. They're closed on Sunday.

Me: Well, I think she's going to have to skip ChikFilA for a little while.

Client: Oh, the morning shift at ChikFilA isn't gonna like that.

Me: Also, we're going to send you home with some special dog food that's easily digestible. It's a chicken and rice based canned food.

Client: She won't eat it. She's never touched dog food. Will only eat cat food.

Sigh.

I want a ChikFilA chicken biscuit every day except Sunday.

The cat food thing doesn't surprise me at all, you'd be surprised at the number of people that do this. It's just so logical - they won't eat their dog food, then feed them cat food. Dogs and cats must be interchangeable, right (!?!).

On a side note, growing up we had this Golden Retriever named Bear. My dad took her with him to Hardee's just about every morning. The people in the drive through GAVE her biscuits. Free. She got to where she would salivate when they drove by the Hardees. Not kidding.

Cackles?

Good grief. All this new development stuff is just plain crazy. Slow down a little!

He has a new trick up his sleeve. A couple of days ago he started to mimic me laughing. While his real laughter sounds like actual laughing, this . . . . um, I'm not sure what it sounds like. But he is certainly pleased with himself.

He has moved from mimicking me to doing this to get our attention. I'm a little concerned he might get a sore throat!

Gone Bananas

Once Ian started reaching for our glasses and plates, we decided it was time to feed him something other than breast milk. Nowadays pediatricians recommend starting them on solid food somewhere between 4 and 6 months of age. About 2 weeks ago we started him on some rice cereal. It took him a while to get the hang of it, but he got to where he was actually eating most of the cereal. He opens his mouth into a perfect little O, watching that spoon like a hawk. Then he tries to take the spoon from you, and will gag himself with it.

After cereal, the next recommended food is vegetables. I didn't follow the directions. We gave him bananas instead. J has a banana every morning for breakfast, and every morning Ian intently watches him. J usually lets him smell the banana. Besides, I just couldn't bear for his first food to be peas. I hate peas.

Day 1 of bananas was interesting. I tried mixing it with the rice cereal. We he got that first mouthful he just stopped and got this expression on his face like, 'WHAT is this?'

First bite of bananas. Very unsure. Note the clean bib.

After about 5 more bites/tries he was NOT amused.

What are you trying to feed me, Tabasco?

His expression on the end of the first night was one of, 'No thanks.' We kept at it though, and every day he ate a little more of it. I stopped mixing it with the rice cereal, and just gave him the mashed up banana by itself. By the fifth night he had decided that bananas weren't so bad. They might even be a little awesome.

Bananas rock!

Gimme some more!

Tonight we are going to try some vegetables. I guess we'll start with peas. I hate them, J likes them. He has a 50/50 chance. His expression should be interesting anyway. . . .

I don't even want to think about what peas are going to do to his poop. Bananas were bad enough.

Let's Talk About Poop

Disclaimer: this entire post is about poop.

We had a bit of a pooptastrophe on Wednesday. But before I get to that, let's back up a little. . . .

When I first got pregnant, someone asked me if I was ready to change poopy diapers. Um, did they remember what I do for a living? Seriously, I deal with feces every day. I get crapped on on a regular basis. If I can deal with parvovirus and hemorrhagic gastroenteritis diarrhea without gagging, then bring on the baby poop.

What I don't like to deal with it baby spit up. It's really dreadful - it looks disgusting and smells so incredibly foul. I shudder just thinking about it. I have been lucky that Ian isn't much of a spitter upper.

Anyway, back to poop.

We decided early on that we wanted to cloth diaper. We had several friends who had taken the leap and had success with it. However, when I told folks this I was met with a lot of, 'Good luck with that.' I got really sick of hearing that.


But you know what, these ain't yo momma's cloth diapers. No more pins! No more wet pails! There are entire websites devoted to cloth diapering. It's really insane.


Pros for going cloth:

• It will save you money in the long run. Yes, you will be doing 3-4 more loads of laundry a week, but even after factoring in the cost of electricity and water it will still save you about $500 a year. That's a lot of money.
• It's gentler on the bum. Baby's are much less likely to get diaper rash because cloth diapers breath better than disposables.
• Less waste. It's a little frightening to think of how many diapers are sitting in landfills.
• Less poop blowouts. Disposable diapers couldn't contain Ian's poops, we haven't had a single poop blow out since going cloth.
• Babies look super cute in them, as seen below.

Cons for going cloth:

• Initial start up cost is daunting. I spent about $300 on my stash, which includes 24 Bumgenius diapers.
• You have to do laundry every other day. You have to remember to do the laundry every other day.
• They have to be line dried, it takes about 12 hours for the covers to dry. Therefore, you kind of have to plan when you do your laundry so that you don't run out before the covers dry (this can be difficult if you are sleep deprived).
• You have to buy special detergent. I.e. you have to order it off of the internet.
• Cloth diapers are bulkier than disposables. I think this is super cute, but they don't fit into the 3 month and younger pants and jeans while wearing them.

There are SO many brands to choose from, and they all have cutesy names like Fuzzibunz and Happy Heiny's. We decided to go with the Bumgenius. They have an outer shell that looks like a disposable, and there are inserts that you stuff them with for absorbency. They are "one-size" diapers, meaning that through a series of snaps they can be adjusted to fit babies 7 pounds to 35 pounds. That's right, the same diaper should be able to be used up until they potty train.

Care is fairly simple, they are stored in a "wet bag," which is a waterproof cloth bag. Every other day the diapers and the wet bag get thrown in the wash. But Tina, you ask, what about the poop?

Well, you're either going to think that the following statement is really neato (like me), or gross - if you're exclusively breast feeding, the diapers can go straight in the washer. With the poop on them. Breast milk poop is water soluble, it just washes away. And you know what? The diapers come out bright and clean. Neither our washer or our house smells like poop. 

Okay, back to the present. So a couple of weeks ago we started Ian on solid food. We started with rice cereal, and last Sunday added in some mashed up bananas. The first couple of days I wasn't sure how much of the bananas he was actually eating . . .

Wednesday's poop let me know that he was DEFINITELY getting bananas in his system.

His poop was completely different, and I was a little awed by it. So, remember that breast milk poop is water soluble, right? Not so much after you add in food.

So what do you do? Well, there are several options but we chose to go with the diaper sprayer. This contraption connects to your toilet and you just spray the poop off into the toilet and flush it down. No fuss - you're more likely to get poop on you while you're in the process of changing the diaper.

Or so I thought.

Apparently there is a bit of a learning curve to the sprayer. Wednesday was the first time I used it, and mistake #1 was to not pay attention to which way the nozzle was pointing. I had it pointed backwards and also had it on full blast. That sucker is under some serious pressure.  It scared the bejesus out of me and I completely drenched the wall, door, and bathroom mirror. Somehow I managed not to get wet myself.

A little shaken, I redirected the spray TOWARDS the poopy diaper and sprayed again. This time I was successful in spraying the diaper, but forgot to turn the pressure down.

There was poop everywhere.

I calmly reminded myself that I have dealt with poop every day for years now, this was no big deal.

It was still a little gross.

Let's just say that the bathroom got an unexpected second disinfection this week. I got to change clothes and do an extra load of laundry. Then I watched a YouTube video on how to properly use the diaper sprayer.

The next poopy diaper clean up went without a hitch. I remembered to turn the diaper sprayer pressure down, and all the poop went in the toilet.

And now to put a more pleasant image in your mind, here's another picture of the little man in his cloth diapered bum.

Doesn't he look dapper?

In Which I Realized I Could Never Be A Human Doctor

The first time I met Ian's pediatrician he seemed delighted that I was a veterinarian. 'Oh,' he says,  'Our patients are just about the same - they don't talk and they bite!' I laughed and started to add, 'They also pee and poop on us,' but alas, I was afraid that might be too much detail on the first visit.

In vet school, professors regularly made the comparison of our profession with that of treating babies. Neither patients can talk and you spend most of your appointment time communicating with the owner/parent.

However, I could never, EVER treat children. For that matter, ANY human of any age. No thank you. That's what physicians get paid the big bucks for.

Not long after I got out of school I had the following "incident" happen. I still can't believe this actually happened.

The day in question  was a surgery day, and I was a little stressed because we had 4 surgeries scheduled. Since I was the newbie I got to do all the surgeries. I was still a little slow, so I knew I wouldn't get finished until early afternoon. I arrived to work that morning to find the hospital owner had agreed to let an 11 year old little girl who home schooled to come in and observe for the day (for an educational experience). I wasn't huge on little kids, but 11 years old isn't too bad. So the girl is dropped off by her mother. She was quite the bossy little girl for 11. Turns out she was 9 - a little too young to be observing surgeries in my opinion, but oh well. Our first surgery was a cat neuter. I figured we would start out with something that didn't have too much blood. She was standing about 3 feet away from the table, with a little book so she could take notes. She was jabbering away, and my tech was plucking hairs off the scrotum (seriously how a cat is prepped for a neuter). All the sudden she steps back, and WHAM falls backwards.

Initial thought, Huh, she tripped.
Sudden realization - Crap, she just passed out!
Following thought -Crap, what the heck do you do for a passed out 9 yr old human?

So I ran over to her, all the while oh my god, oh my god, oh my god repeating in my head. By this point she was trying to sit up. I made her sit down with her head between her knees - she said she felt weird - her ears were ringing. Not knowing what else to do I made her drink some water - that sounded logical. Then I went and told the receptionist to call her mother. The receptionist returns a few moments later with the cordless phone and hands it to the little girl. By this point I'm busy removing testicles, so I don't pay much attention to the conversation. I ask her if her mother is going to come pick her up. No, she says, I feel better now.

Um, who in the heck doesn't come pick their 9 year old kid up after passing out!?! Apparently the same parent who would lie about their child's age. We hadn't even actually started surgery yet when it happened! What was she going to do when I opened up an abdomen and pulled out a uterus!?!

So anyway, she stayed - she watched the rest of the surgeries and didn't pass out again. However, she did tug on the sleeve of my surgery gown after I spent 5 minutes explaining the concept of a sterile surgical field to her. She wanted to let me know the pulse ox was reading below 92%.

My last surgery was a dog neuter. She asked me what testicles were for. I told her that they weren't necessary in dogs and that she should ask her mother what their function was. She then told me her mother wouldn't know.

 As I was closing the skin she asked if we were going to be doing surgeries next Thursday. Then she stated, and I quote, 'Well, next week I would like to come back and I think I would like to do some surgeries.'

And that, folks, is excellent birth control.